[Backlog] Lingering Problems

Posted on 08 Mar 2026 @ 11:50pm by Lieutenant JG Ryan Collingway & Lieutenant Kristin Emerson PhD, Counselor
Edited on on 09 Mar 2026 @ 2:30am

1,733 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: Silent Inheritance
Location: Counseling: Dr Emerson's Office
Timeline: Prior to Ryan's computer discovery

OOC: Takes place prior to Ryan's computer discovery

// Dr Kris Emerson’s Office //

Dr Emerson finished her counseling session with Crewman Stonewood. It was a disturbing array of complexities that had her shaking her head as she finished entering her notes in Stonewood’s file. Her intuition had her look up just as Lt Collingway was about to speak.

“Hey,” she said warmly, letting the situation with Stonewood slide down her arms and drip into the floor. Not forgotten, just the emotions slipping away so she could focus on her next client. “Come on in. Water or coffee?” she asked.

"Coffee's good," Ryan said easily. He had just remembered before he entered that he hadn't really updated either her or Doctor Amberson about what happened after the incident in the Gym. "Erm, Doctor Amberson probably told you I had run into a problem after our last session. I meant to update her. A lot of things happened over the past few days.”

“We’ve spoken, yes. And we figured when you were ready you’d make an appointment. You like it black, right?”

Ryan nodded. Kris ordered the coffee and a cup of hot black tea with a touch of cinnamon from the replicator and brought them over to the small table between the two occasional chairs and they both sat down. “So, you’re here and you can take a deep breath and let it out slow.” They both did as she suggested. “Again. … and last one.” “Whhhhhhew,” she exhaled slowly. “I needed that as much as you did,” she chuckled. “Now, what’s happened.”

Ryan breathed as she suggested. He did need it. He told her about the gym. The confession. Being worried enough to talk to Commander Harlan and then encouraged to report it to Starfleet Command. Being ordered not to by the Captain.

It was a long story with only a few omits. His father's potential involvement being one of them, at least for now.

"I didn't expect that to happen," Ryan said, and hesitated. "And I would never ask her to take this off my shoulders. But she did.”

“What if that was the best outcome possible? I’m serious,” said Kris. "As imperfect as it may seem, in the long run, it might be the best thing that could have happened. How are you feeling since that burden was relieved? When I say feelings, I’m talking about emotions. Have you felt freer to breathe? Have you spontaneously laughed more often since? Have you felt lost or uncertain on where to go from here? Have you felt guilt or remorse or unworthy of this relief? Think in terms of emotions. Just be honest. Voicing emotion will not be a self-fulfilling prophecy."

Ryan sighed. "I don't know," he admitted. "To be honest, there hasn't been much time to unpack things after my visit from the Captain. Mostly my head has been filled with work since I'm still on double-duty. I guess I'm trying not to think about it too much. But I think a part of me is relaxing, a little," he added, remembering his discussion with Alura.

He looked away. "There is one other thing. The witness who reported what happened to Lieutenant Flammia...I suspected that she worked for my Dad. I confronted him about it, and he didn't exactly deny it. So you could say I'm considerably angry if that's true, which currently outweighs my feelings of relief at the moment.”

“Really.” Kris said. “I’m glad you are aware of the anger. That’s definitely a stronger more overpowering emotion than relief. And I think if your father was involved at all in setting you up for failure - as he has in the past - you are very justified in that anger. How do you think you could handle that strong emotion?”

"Ugh," Ryan said, looking away. "I can't exactly go after him for that. Or any other reason. He has a team of lawyers that would salivate at the chance if I formally accuse him in any way. And being tied up on Earth in a court case would accomplish his goal, with me not being on a Starship. So I can only continue on and defy him by being here."

"I did inform Lieutenant Flammia about his witness," he added. "But I don't think he was terribly interested. Our relation has been...shall we say, rocky, to say the least. He did offer to train me on the holodeck, so I guess we are patching things up."

"I'm handling things as best as I can," Ryan finished. "There's just a lot thrown my way.

“That is a bit of an understatement,” said Kris. “Finding an effective way to handle anger does not in motion cases involve confronting the person you are angry with. Handling the anger comes before you ever encounter them.” Kris paused to let that truth sink in. “Sometimes that’s handled by going to the gym and punching the bag. Or working out or going for a run on the holo deck. Sometimes it’s writing a letter to that person and then burning it with real flame. Sometimes it’s creating something, a piece of art, a sculpture, pushing paint around on a canvas. Maybe it’s listening to music or poetry or a movie that resolves that anger in you. Perhaps you could even go into the Holo deck and have a conversation with your father, or do that here and let me play the role of your father. Tell me what you think, how you feel, how angry you are. You don’t have to demonstrate it to him. You just have to give that energy of anger an exit, a place to ground, like electricity. Can you do any of those things?”

Ryan thought about it a little. There was no point in having a fake conversation with his father, at least in his mind. It wouldn't compare with the real thing. "My 'free time' is limited at the moment, but I have that defense training planned with Lieutenant Flamminia, which I can safely presume will be a decent workout. And Alura-Miss Ryn has recommended showing me some recreational activities. Between that, and the meditation, I think I should be okay," he said. "I'm not generally a fan of holodecks, but I can always work out in the gym if I get really desperate.”

Kris nodded, surprising a slight smile. Ryan’s list of reasons were about what she expected. She was not even surprised about the little slip of Alura’s name -- and its correction. He just refused to do the work of therapy. That was his choice and today was not the best day to confront him with that fact. Instead, she took another track. “I’m curious, I’m sure this thing with Cmdr Flammia and your father’s possible involvement has pretty much occupied your mind, but try to sift that out of your life. What’s left? What else do you ponder or hope for beyond the resolution and disappearance of that issue?”

"Um," Ryan leaned back a little. "I guess the 'hierarchy' of Engineering has changed for me, for lack of a better word. Before, I could joke and bounce off ideas with Lieutenant Evans in her office, anytime. I could even do that a little with Commander Boren, although I didn't know her as well."

"But now..." Ryan shrugged. "Commander Harlan and I seem to have not the best meetings. I feel like a stranger in that office, with no idea what he'll say or what he's thinking."

"And there's another new officer. Lieutenant Caldwell. I haven't met him yet, officially. But apparently he is sniffing out and figuring out problems even engineers who have been on the ship from the start haven't noticed. I wouldn't be surprised if he's gunning for the position of Assistant Chief Engineer."

"I'm just trying to find my place in an area I once thought relatively stable, I guess," Ryan said.

“Sounds like Engineering is pretty much in flux at the moment. What do you see as your role or place in trying to make a positive contribution to that situation?” Her goal was to keep him talking until he actually talked himself in finding his way around in the workplace situation.

The idea of himself being ACEO was light years from ever being possible. "Commander Harlan more or less met me in a drunk tank, after Vel killed the power to the colony. I guess I just have to prove myself that I'm not the screw-up he probably thinks I am," he said. "So far I've been able to handle the duty of leading the skeletal crew. I guess I just have to see what the next adventure brings," he said.

“Good,” said Kris. "I would agree with you on both those points. I’m more concerned with what you think of Ryan Collingway than what Cmdr Harlan thinks of him. You are handling a lot of crap right now, personal and professional. You are handling it pretty well, Not perfect, but none of us handle our shit perfectly. I suspect that is being taken into account by Cmdr Harlan. But I wonder if you are allowing yourself the same leeway to not be perfect. You can quite validly choose to see yourself as a competent, intelligent, creative, young engineer. Your father has emphatically indoctrinated you that you are not fit for his standards in any case. You know that is not true. You need to choose not to believe him. You are not broken, you are not incompetent, you are not a perpetual screw-up. Our goal in counseling here, I think, is to secure your opinion of yourself, that it is based on truth and fact, not on your father's jaundiced opinion, his lies and abuse. What do you think about that as our focus?”

He hesitated as he considered her words. "Okay. That...might take some more time to do. But I am willing to try."

“That is all any of us can do, Ryan,” said Kris. “Until your mandated therapy is completed I think you can get a lot done in that vein. Thanks for coming in today.”

Ryan nodded, and left.

Lieutenant (JG) Ryan Collingway
Engineering Officer
USS Arawyn

Lieutenant Kris Emerson
Counsellor
USS Arawyn

 

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